Release My Grip by Kami Gilmour: a review

In Release My Grip,  Kami Gilmour shares her own journey and offers encouragement to all of those facing a time when their kids are leaving home and learning to fly.  She writes with humour, honesty and insight, offering wisdom that can only come from someone who has learned the hard way about “letting go”.  Her stories are told with a transparency that will make many other ’empty nesters’ smile and realize they are not alone.

What will you find in this book?

In the introduction, the author says “I felt alone. And crazy” and I think many of us can identify with those emotions. It’s no secret that our children will grow up and leave home and our goal is to raise capable, independent adults.  Why, then, do we feel as though our hearts are being ripped out of our bodies at times? I know that the roller coaster of emotions I experienced when “letting go” took me by surprise.  What the author discovered, as she went through her own heartache and shared on her blog, was that she was not alone. Thousands of parents contacted her to say ‘me too!”.  (Kami Gilmour runs a popular blog called SoulFeed where she shares her thoughts on parenting, life and faith). The response from other parents was her inspiration to write the book.

In Part One, Leaving the Nest,  you will find a touching prayer of a parent on graduation day. Here is an excerpt from that prayer:

There’s a cap and gown hanging in my son’s room and it’s taking my breath away. He’s graduating in a few days, and I can’t believe how fast the time has gone. (Did you maybe spin the earth a little faster on its axis for the past several years? )

He’s ready…but I’m not sure if I am.

Because since the day he was born and wrapped his tiny fingers around mine, my heart has been living outside of my body.  At that moment I understood the concept of unconditional love—including your love.”

In Part Two, Learning to Fly, the author speaks about how parenthood is never over and love never ends. She says ‘the finish line is just a myth. Parenthood is a lifelong journey – and it’s also a lifelong (often painful) practice of letting one season go as a new one begins.”  You will relate to what she shares and you may just realize for the first time, as she did, what your own mother must have felt when she had to let you go.

In the book you will also find:

• Reflection questions that help you to dig deeper, face your fears and discover peace and hope for the new season that’s starting.
• A devotional section with relevant Scriptures that reveal God’s loving heart and give you encouragement.
• Practical challenges that help you to adjust and keep a meaningful connection with your adult children.
• Journalling pages so you can capture your feelings about letting go. You will be able to look back and reflect on what you’ve written and see how far you have come.

Who is this book for?

It’s always good to know that we are not alone in this challenging phase of our lives when our children are becoming adults.   This book is for everyone who is experiencing this transition and it captures all its thrilling, terrifying and perplexing aspects. One of the valuable truths the author brings out is that ‘we tend to get stuck on the ‘goodbye’ part of the story, grieving our kids leaving the nest like it’s the final chapter of parenthood.”  She emphasizes that leaving the nest does not happen in a day and that while it is happening it can be messy. This is a great truth to remember as we navigate the transition and can help to prevent us from feeling like failures as parents. This book leaves you with a sense of peace that comes with understanding more about what you are going through and how to cope with it.