Don’t feel lonely when you live alone

You don’t have to feel lonely if you live alone. Many people in the world today live alone. Some people never marry while others are widows or divorcees. In  the United States alone there are more than 95 million single adults. Living alone is more acceptable than it was in the past. However, many people still see it in a negative light.

The media does not help as it continues to portray romantic love as the answer. Without a romantic partner, life is not worth living. So, is everyone living alone really doomed to a miserable existence?  Perhaps living alone is not something you necessarily aspire to or the ideal lifestyle. That doesn’t mean you can’t live alone and create a full, rich and satisfying life. After all, plenty of couples are living a far from blissful existence. Just because you have a partner does not guarantee you happiness.

The vicious cycle

If you believe “there must be something wrong with me because I am living alone”, it will have a negative effect on how you see yourself and how you live your life. You may walk around feeling inferior and indulge in plenty of self-pity. Other people inevitably pick up on this and it starts a vicious cycle in your life. Your low self-esteem makes you tend to withdraw and cut yourself off. You’re so afraid of being judged that you avoid the very people and activities that could enhance your life.

If you feel bad about yourself, you’re less likely to take care of yourself. This may mean you eat unhealthily, do no exercise and lose interest in your appearance. You may try to numb your feelings by working too much or drinking too much.  Everyone has different ways of coping if they live alone but some ways just make the situation worse.

Challenge your thought and behavior patterns

If you believe you can only be happy if you have a partner, you will always be waiting for someone to come and rescue you from your miserable existence. You will never live your life fully. It can be a challenge to break this perception of a knight in shining armor coming to rescue you. You must challenge this way of thinking if you want to live a full life while living on your own.

Think differently about living alone

The first change you must make is to think differently about living alone. Instead of associating it with pain, emptiness and loneliness,  start seeing it as an opportunity for growth. It is not easy if your thought patterns are deeply ingrained. If you have always thought about being alone as being lonely, it’s hard to separate the two.  The minute you are alone, you feel lonely and depressed. Your depression leads to apathy and you don’t feel like doing anything. This attitude affects your behavior and the cycle continues. Don’t lose hope because it is possible to change these feelings.

My divorce came at the same time as my children flew the nest.  I could no longer rely on anyone else for my happiness or my financial welfare. Changing my thought patterns was critical or I would descend into fear. I was quickly approaching retirement age with no financial security. Finding opportunities to make an income was one of the ways I found to motivate me to get out of bed for in the morning. I invested in a copywriting course and learned as much as I could about blogging, websites and affiliate marketing.

Form a healthier relationship with yourself

With no romantic relationship or partner to distract you, you have the unique opportunity to focus on your own personal development. You can learn more about who you are and the choices you’ve made. This helps you to figure out what you really want out of life and what’s holding you back.  No-one else is going to change your life for you. You have to make a joyful life for yourself. It helps to focus on what interests you – your passions and goals. Daily activities that motivate and inspire you can turn your life around.  It also helps to form relationships with people who support and uplift you.

Improve relationships with others

When you improve your relationship with yourself, it changes the way you relate to others. You are no longer looking for someone else to make you whole. Your self-esteem is intact and that allows you to form relationships because you choose to do so rather than out of fear or neediness. When you are emotionally needy, you fight for closeness all the time.  This puts unnatural pressure on any relationship as your insecurity makes you jealous and resentful.

Break negative thought patterns and responses

You may have carried some of your thoughts and responses with you from childhood into adulthood. It’s important to become aware if these are destructive so that you can work on them.  You need to  consciously align how you think, behave and relate to others with the results you want in your life. You can improve how you communicate and learn to set boundaries. Don’t relate to others out of some desperate need. Relate to them because they enhance and enrich your already fulfilling life.

A final word

You are able to create the physical and emotional well-being, financial security, experiences, relationships and circumstances you want to have in your life. When you build a solid inner and outer foundation, no-one can take that away from you. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in a relationship or on your own.  You can create a fulfilling life for yourself.